Friday, March 25, 2016

Accepting Grace

I don't remember what he looked like. All I can remember were his eyes. Deep and dark. His eyes should've warned me. They looked like falling off a cliff.

And sometimes that's what it felt like to talk to him. Like diving into the deep end. Without realizing it you'd taken one step to far and slipped off the shelf. Out in the deep with nowhere to stand.

Even if you didn't move you'd end up the same. With your feet swept out from under you by the current. Or if not your feet the ground below them.

And there you'd be, trying to tread water and wondering were you'd lost your footing. Looking around for solid ground or an anchor to hold onto. All the while he'd just keep asking those little questions, buffeting you around like waves.

And he said. "Don't miss the good looking for the spectacular. Sometimes God sends mana and sometimes He sends fields of wheat. Just don't forget to pick the grain while waiting for something to fall from the sky.

"If you speak in tongues, praise God. If you meet a translator, praise God. Sometimes the miracles are in the commonplace. Say your on the desert for forty years. Don't spend the whole time worrying about how God's gonna get you new clothes and forget to be thankful that your old ones just won't wear out."

I swam against the current I had to find- "but sometimes I feel like I'm just always taking. Like I'm stealing."

He must've shrugged. "If they give willingly then be blessed. Your not stealing if they give. And if God uses them to bless you than that's their blessing too."

Layers in words. I appreciated his double meaning.

"And the same for (from) you." He continued. "Be the widow. Give from what you have even if you don't."

"Even when I don't?" The question had been burning in my mind long before it scorched my tongue.

"It seems to me that God always provides abundantly. Above and beyond what you need. And if not, maybe your not asking for enough. You don't always have to give to all people. I think needs are important to remember here. Give to those in need. Not to sound callus but if someone doesn't have a need you can meet by giving maybe you don't have to give..."

"Owe no one anything except to love each other." I murmured.

He was a silent a while before replying. "The man who said that was but a disciple of the One who said... Well, a whole bunch of beautiful things about not worrying but rather trusting God and asking Him to meet your needs. And wants for that matter. 'How much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask Him!'

"Sometimes sparrows seek out food. Sometimes they are fed by men. But if fed from one hand of God or the other they do not demur."

I tread water and thanked God that at least the ocean is warm in the South Pacific.